Something You Want To Tell Me?
by romanticidiot
Summary: Slash. SiriusRemus. Rating for safety. Sirius has a detention, but when McGonogal walks in and Remus hasn't left yet, desperate times call for desperate measures. Smut, basically.


WARNING: This contains slash. And nothing you can ignore, either. 

**DISCLAIMER: All rights and proceeds belong to JK Rowling and her affiliates. **

Something You Want To Tell Me? 

**By**

**Romantic Idiot**

Sirius Black had a detention. This was nothing new; it was rare that a week went by without Sirius Black having a detention. Sometimes he wondered why wizards and witches so intelligent couldn't think of a better way to 'punish' him, considering these detentions had never yet yielded a change in his behaviour. With all the magic and resources available to them, surely there was something out there that could in fact be used for punishment. He decided to look into it one day.

Not right now, however, because right at that moment, he was waiting for a detention with Professor McGonogall. Not that she had arrived yet, but she was going to at any moment, and maybe not in human form, so he really didn't want to be caught doing this.

Not that he was doing anything illegal, or bad exactly, it's just that friends weren't supposed to come to detentions with the person in detention. It was just one of those things that wasn't done. Nobody exactly sat you down in first year and said, 'look, mate. When you go to detentions, you go alone, you hear?' but you kinda knew it anyway. So having Remus kneeling on the floor beside him seemed a little too close to breaking that unspoken rule. And of all the teachers to break that rule in front of, he didn't want it to be McGonogall.

"Remus," he said, "Seriously. Leave. Now."

"Hang _on_, Sirius," Remus replied. "I _am_ leaving. But Snape spelled my book bag to the ground and I've got to remove it before I leave, don't I?"

"No," Sirius snapped. "Just get _out_ … oh bollocks."

It took only a second for footsteps to sound outside the door before Sirius made a split second decision and hastily grabbed Remus's collar and threw him bodily under the table.

"Sirius, what the-."

Without thinking Sirius shot him a _silencio_, threw the invisibility cloak from Remus' bag over him, just in case McGonogall could see through solid wood, and the muffled protestations ceased. The struggle to get out from under the table didn't, so Sirius positioned Remus' shoulders between his knees and held him there with all the strength he usually reserved for flying.

When the door finally opened, Sirius was sitting there breathing only slightly heavily, and doing his best not to look as though he was restraining his best friend under the table right in front of McGonogall's nose.

"Mister Black," she said as she strode masterfully into the room. "You're aware of the reason you're here, naturally."

"Yes, Professor," Sirius said, and relaxed as Remus finally figured out what was going on and stopped fighting. "Arguing in the halls, not paying attention in class, and taunting the Slytherins, right? Or did I miss something?"

"No, you got it all," McGonogall sighed. "Instead of cleaning something, because you've cleaned nearly everything already, this detention will consist of you reciting back to me all of the notes you made in my class. Are you ready?"

"Er … Yes, Professor," he said and reached down into his bag, struggling frantically to think what the hell the lesson had been about. He almost jumped when a hand guided him from his own book bag into the one beside it, and he pulled out Remus' neatly transcribed notes from the last class.

_Thank Merlin,_ he thought to himself and then took back the thought as Remus knocked his knee against the inside of the desk.

"You may begin," McGonogall said and took her seat behind the massive desk at the front of the class.

"Yes, Professor," he said and looked down. "One of the first things one must remember when transfiguring vegetable to animal, is that vegetables are not animals. They don't have the same thought processes of an animal, and their atoms are arranged in a different molecular structure. Thus, it is important to note that changing a vegetable to an animal requires a complete restructuring of a vegetable's existence."

He was reading quite well, he thought, and decided that this detention might not be so bad after all, when suddenly he felt something quite unexpected.

Remus's hand was on his thigh. And it wasn't going away. He stopped reading. McGonogall looked up from her marking.

"Problem, Master Black?" She asked.

"N-no," he stuttered, and put his head back down, hoping Remus gave up this game soon or he was going to discover something about Sirius that he didn't want to know.

"When a vegetable's entire existence is restructured, there will naturally be some adjusting required. One must take into account that the vegetable is now suddenly possessed of a sentient brain, however small and primal."

_Dear Merlin, Remus, please stop that right now,_ he thought, and wished he knew legilimency.

But Remus didn't seem to have any intention of stopping what he was doing, because he was now sliding his hand even further up Sirius's thigh, and what was most terrifying of all was that he didn't he didn't stop when he reached the intersection of thigh and hip. No, Remus' hand in fact cupped Sirius's steadily growing cock and gave it a sensuous squeeze.

Sirius gasped.

McGonogall looked up again.

"Black, what is it now?" she demanded.

"N-nothing," he said and bit his lip. "Just er really interested, that's all."

McGonogall gave him a shrewd look and returned her attention to her papers.

"The vegetable, then, cannot be expected to act in the exact same way as an animal. One should not p-place too much hope on the vegetable being able to a-act in the same way as a real animal."

Remus's hand was now definitely being unfair. Because right now it was massaging him in a very, very provocative way, slow, small circles against his clothing, with the occasional gentle squeeze for good measure.

Sirius Black was finding it hard to focus.

"A r-real animal has its entire life to act as … _stimulant_ and background for its life. It knows that f-fire is h-hot and b-burns, therefore it should avoid it. A vegetable has spent its entire l-life in a v-vegative state and knows nothing of these things."

Remus's hand had really gone too far this time. It was steadily climbing its way up Sirius's pants, crawling like a spider, and creeping up so far that it eventually found its way to his fly.

And it pulled.

Gently, quietly, slowly, but steadily, the teeth of the zip released and it didn't take long for Remus's hand to undo the button and suddenly Sirius was more undressed in front of McGonogall than he'd ever wanted to be.

But he really, really didn't care.

And he thanked sweet Nimue that he'd worn boxers today, because Remus's hand seemed to know exactly how to ease his erection out of them, and how to breathe exactly so that the air hit him in the exact right places. And how – oh dear Merlin _how_- did it know that that was the _exact_ right way to stroke him?

"Mister Black, you have stopped again," McGonogall said, and his fuzzy focus slipped back a little.

"S-sorry, Professor," he said in a voice higher than his own. "I'm just erm thinking about this, you know. It's really quite … intense, isn't it?"

"Yes," McGonogall said and pressed her lips together. "Go on."

Sirius cleared his throat.

"Vegetables that find themselves as animals are unlikely to a-act in the expected wayyy of a real animal, for the simple reason that they are not. T-this can b-become problematic for the t-transfigurer if it is v-very important that their vegetable remain … animalistic."

Sirius could hardly keep his mouth working and his voice at some semblance of level, when all it wanted to do was call out 'Remus', in a voice as broken by arousal as he felt right now.

Because Remus's hand had disappeared now, and it had transfigured itself into Remus's lips, and tongue, and mouth, which were working him steadily into a state of no return. Their insistent wet warmth was driving him nearly insane, and the constant pressure, the feeling of being urged, encouraged to let go, was almost more than he could stand.

He gripped the edges of the table so tightly his fingers turned white, and he fought not to buck against Remus's mouth as it enclosed over him and sucked him hard.

"The best way to overcome this is to c-conceal the t-true identity of the v-vegetable that is n-now in animal sh-shape, and to return the v-vegetable to its former state as soon as possible."

He could hardly breathe now.

He honestly couldn't stand this.

He couldn't take it.

Something had to give.

And it was him.

With a hard bite of his lip, he came, breathing out a sigh of relief and satisfaction and feeling like a lump of jelly. He took a deep breath, and refocussed his attention on the page in front of him.

But it seemed Remus wasn't quite finished with him yet. Sirius relaxed his grip on the table, thinking that surely the worst was over. And it was, but Remus took advantage of his dangling hand and seized it, holding it in his own, and Sirius barely had time to feel Remus's hot breath on his fingers before they were in Remus's mouth, and his tongue was tracing each outline gently. He had to close his eyes for just a second and force himself to remember that he was still in class and McGonogall was right there in front of him.

This wasn't fair.

He continued on with his reading, forcing himself to focus on the lesson he had missed, so that Remus's rough tongue didn't put any more images and sensations into his head.

Finally the detention was over and McGonogall stood up and gathered her papers.

"Very well, Black," she said. "You may leave. You should maybe see Madame Pomfrey about that slightly breathing irregularity you seem to be developing. In future I expect you to be more aware in my classes, and to behave in a more fitting way becoming a student of Hogwarts, and of Gryffindor."

There was a still, strange silence in the room in the wake of her leaving and Sirius remembered that he was sitting in the transfiguring room with his fly undone, half exposed and half aroused, with Remus Lupin under the desk in front of him.

He leaned forward and looked Remus in the eye. Which was very hard to do because Remus was looking more wicked and more shaggable than any point Sirius could remember, because his hair was tousled, his cheeks red, and a sly smile fixed on his face.

"Well," Sirius said and had to clear his throat. "Is there anything you want to tell me, Moony?"

Author's Note 

I'm not sure if I should be proud of myself or ashamed. I think Remus is a bit OOC, but I wanted a dominant Remus for once, so here he is.


End file.
